How To Breed an Awesome Magikarp in Pokémon Black and White

Last night I beat Pokémon White — expect a review in the near future! Upon doing so I acquired the national pokédex, meaning I can now find some old friends from past generations. The first one I stumbled upon was sold to me for 500 pokédollars by a shady dude on Marvelous Bridge. That’s right: Magikarp. For every generation, I have raised one of these dudes up and unleashed holy dragon rage hell on all who crossed my path — or splashed in their direction, depending on how far I was in the game.

Anyway, I got to thinking how I could breed an awesome Magikarp and I think I have figured it out:

Beat the game and acquire the national pokédex.
Head to Marvelous Bridge and save before you purchase your Magikarp. Now, purchase one and reset the game until you get a female that has an Adamant nature. This could take a while — I believe I had to restart about 20 times before I got lucky! Once you do get one: save!
Now we need a Papa for our awesome Magikarp — a fish who has been around the block. One that kicks ass and takes names. To do this, make sure you first have a Minccino in your party. Now, head over to Driftveil City and find Kyle, who just so happens to be looking for a Minccino and wants to trade a Basculin for one. Now you may not know this, but Kyle is a fucking idiot, because he is sitting on an awesome Basculin. Not only is it also adamant, but it has perfect IVs for attack. I mean a perfect 31. Once you complete the trade, save again.
Now head to Nimbasa City and go to the Battle Subway. If you haven’t already, fight some trainers until you earn 16 BP. Speak to one of the attendants and exchange your points for a Power Bracer.
Now we need an Everstone. The best way to get one of these is to capture wild Roggenrola or Boldore, as there is a 50% chance that they will be holding one.
Give the Everstone to your Mama Magikarp and the Power Bracer to your Papa Basculin.
Head to the day care on Route 3, hand both pokémon and a cassette of Barry White’s Greatest Hits to the daycare lady. Ride your bike up and down Route 3 and try not to think of the epic, adamant fish sex that is happening.
Eventually the day care man will call you over and present you with an egg. Odds are pretty good that the spawn within will have an Adamant nature (it will definitely have 31 attack IVs) meaning with proper EV training, you could end up with a level 100 Gyarados with 383 attack — the absolute ceiling for this stat. If your fish baby doesn’t have an Adamant nature, just make a new egg until you get one which does.

I plan on making my own godly carp now that I have plotted all this out, so if you are too lazy to do all this, I may be willing to just trade babies to people. If you are interested in trading, follow me on Twitter and I will announce when the babies are ready to go to good homes. Otherwise, make your own and experience the joys of pokémon breeding. Soon we will overturn some boats and shit with dragon rage, just as long as they only have 40 HP.

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