Friday Links Roundup: 1/21-2/3

Every Friday I make a post containing links to interesting articles I have found throughout the week.  If you already follow me on Twitter, then you will have probably seen most of the following links.  Enjoy!

LOOK

WATCH

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM6EuXDCkP0[/youtube]

The newest My Fair Hunter is up!  Watch us fight the Rathalos!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFT72cPtgew[/youtube]

Baby porcupine tries to get food out of a mug.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE2OjvyJmjE[/youtube]

Doo ya laike dacks?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlS3w1GGE8g[/youtube]

Snoring dormouse, bitches.

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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Review

There exist certain gaming franchises which become infallible with age.  Fans — their memories alight with nostalgia — look to recapture moments that defined their earliest gaming memories in modern generations.  This perfectly summarizes my experiences with Nintendo’s iconic green-tunic-ed Zelda series.  Some of my fondest memories include exploring the expanses of Hyrule Field in Ocarina of Time and sailing aimlessly across the tranquil waters of Wind Waker.  Despite all that, I will be reviewing Skyward Sword as a stand-alone product, wiping away the thick nostalgia condensed on my spectacles.

Story & Tone

The tone of Skyward Sword is a cautious one, not quite as wholesome as a Sunday morning cartoon but clearly afraid to come too close to the maturity that was Twilight Princess. The game’s first boss broke the traditional boss mold of three-strikes-to-the-big-glowing-eye, which led me to believe the franchise wanted to move in a different direction. Then, almost as if it never happened, I was right back in a child-safe world with Nintendo written all over it. If only the game took a stronger stance to decide if it wanted to offer the nonsensical but cute atmosphere of Animal Crossing, or make a dramatic impact in the way that Twilight Princess attempted.

Being the first game in the Zelda series timeline, Skyward Sword has a lot to cover to lay the groundwork for future games while still providing a solid story of its own. Here the game mostly succeeded. It brought me on a journey that had me emotionally invested as I watched various obstacles come between Link and Zelda.  Despite the triteness of their situation, I could feel for Link and I wanted to reunite him with his childhood friend, Zelda. I also grew attached to the game’s bumbling would-be bully, Groose. He starts out as your classic jerk, but as his motivations are revealed and he becomes more involved with the hero, he in transformed into a source of loveable and welcome comic relief.

Don’t mind me, I’m not that important.

There were some loose ends I wish were tied up, however. Early on it’s made clear that Link and his uniquely red-colored Loftwing share a close bond, however this connection is never deepened or expanded upon to make the player feel attached to the bird. Ultimately the Loftwing becomes a simple vehicle that squawks. Missed opportunities such as this caused the game’s ending scenario to fall flatter than I’d hoped.

System

First I need to address my biggest gripe with Skyward Sword: motion controls.  The technology just isn’t ready for this ambitious of a game.  Enemies and bosses frequently need to be bested by executing one of several different blows aimed at a weak spot or opening in a target’s defense.  This is done by swinging your Wii remote in the designated direction.  For instance, swinging straight down in front of you would make Link (presumably) do the same thing.  I would say, with confidence, these controls functions correctly far less than they should.  Later in the game, when enemies begin to punish you for not attacking in the correct direction, this came to be a great source of frustration, making me bemoan removing my sword from its sheath.  And motions controls further invade other mechanics, such as swimming, to put a damper on everything from combat to simple exploration.

Swimming is as cumbersome as it looks

Onto the brighter side!  The player can upgrade nearly all of Link’s tools to vastly modify their medieval load-out.  You can acquire these upgrades by gathering drops from enemies or bugs scattered throughout the world.  I became quite partial to my bow and arrow, as its motion controls were the simplest.  Naturally, I upgraded my bow twice, so it could deal monstrous damage.  Then, to keep me swimming in arrows, I purchased an extra quiver.  My thirst for arrows remained unquenchable, so I purchased a second quiver and upgraded them both twice — resulting in a massive stockpile of arrows I could bring with me on dungeon crawls.  Such customization has never existed in a Zelda title, and I found the flexibility to be a welcomed modernization.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bkVqff-v34[/youtube]

We can’t talk about Zelda unless we touch on dungeon design.  And it really does shine in Skyward Sword.  While initially, dungeons are somewhat shallow, they become quite complex and fun near the end of the game once most of Link’s tools are unlocked.  Dungeons themselves take on themes to further deepen puzzles.  Possibly the most innovative example of this is with area-specific time travel.  Please, spare me the Steven Hawking lecture and (in Navi’s voice) listen.  There exists within the Zelda universe a mineral called a Timeshift stone that, when struck, does what its name implies: shifts time.  One particular area is filled with the stuff and in a number of instances the solution to a puzzle is either forward, or backwards in time.  This means the player will have to think critically about cause and effect to solve puzzles.  I found this to be a very innovative mechanic that gave a new layer of depth to both the dungeon itself and the game’s depth of problem solving.  Another very memorable dungeon experience was on a revisit to a previously explored area.  Normally this is when most critics would begin to lament “lazy level design!”  However, when I returned I found the area entirely flooded with water, which created a visually pleasing and imaginative landscape.

Presentation

There were moments when I stopped to examine my surroundings in Zelda.  The game cleverly works within the limitations of the Nintendo Wii by causing a mosaic effect on items that extend beyond a certain distance.  Still, I would say Skyward Sword just manages to get by as a visually acceptable game in this generation, and that is due largely to minimalistic art direction.  The music is classic Zelda fodder: epic, energetic, and always enhancing the atmosphere right up to a awe-inspiring final boss stage.

Conclusions

Skyward Sword was an ambitious game, attempting to bring fans the most interactive and advanced Zelda experience to date.  It shook things up by allowing the player to customize their equipment to a level never before possible.  Innovative level design made for some memorable and enjoyable puzzles that were always more fun than frustrating.  But the technology of the Wii was clearly pushed to the limit, as graphically and functionally the game struggled to stretch its wings and fly.

Posted in nintendo wii, review | 1 Comment

Fuck Your Arrows, Fuck Your Knees, Fuck Your Fus Ro Dah

I know, you just love Skyrim, don’t you?  You love putting buckets on people’s heads, you love shouting Fus Ro Dah at your cat as it stares up at you in bewilderment from its litter box.  You love all this as much as the America’s Funniest Home Videos audience loves a wiffle bat carelessly swung into someone’s family jewels.

I’ve been there.  I know how it feels when there is a popular meme surrounding something you’re into at a given time.  It feels great when you can perpetuate it in some clever new way, and have it acknowledged by your peers.  But have some fucking consideration for those of us who didn’t pay $60 for a burlap sack filled with buggy code and a dragon-shaped middle finger.

I wouldn’t even mind if these memes were funny, but they aren’t.  The arrow-to-the-knee one especially is a bone of contention for me.  Now I’m no meme critic (my certificate is in the mail) but the problem has to do largely with the formula of this meme.  It nearly always follows this pattern:

“I used to ________”

[PICTURE OF SOMETHING (optional)]

“Then I took an arrow to the knee.”

Now maybe you’ve already doubled over with laughter at the mere skeleton of your beloved hysteria-inducing meme but, if you’re still with me, I will explain what is wrong with this formula: you know the punchline after reading the first three words.  Furthermore, the only wiggle room for anything that may actually be humorous rests in the activity that was once being done by the speaker or subject.  More often than not, the individual constructing this joke (if we can really give them that much credit) has been conditioned into receiving a rousing applause from their peers simply for putting this formula together using any previously mentioned noun or verb.  Here is an example:

Person A: “Did you see on the news it’s supposed to snow tonight?”
Person B: “I used to be on the news, then I took an arrow to the knee!”
Persons C-Z: “OMG HAHAHA BUCKETS FUS RO DAH” *rubs bathing-suit area furiously*
Person B: *looks down at bathing suit area. pauses. goes to town*

There was a time when, and I’ve checked my math on this, at least 97% of internet users were Persons B-Z:

All you could hear for miles was the distant clacking of keyboards, muffled giggling, and the rhythmic rubbing of sweat pants against raw, chapped flesh.  Upon climaxing… well I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what these people would shout.

I somehow survived this dark era, which will no doubt be studied by internet historians and compared to similar events in human history, such as the Bubonic plague.  It was a rough time…  But I survived.  Now let’s all move on, and behave like mature adults on this, the very internet we fought so hard to protect this very week. *toddler hits Roy in crotch with garden hose*

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Friday Links Roundup: 1/14-1/20

Every Friday I make a post containing links to interesting articles I have found throughout the week.  If you already follow me on Twitter, then you will have probably seen most of the following links.  Enjoy!

LOOK

WATCH

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-62fhmWDkx8[/youtube]

Fan-made Dark Souls theatrical trailer.  This.  This is amazing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMbL3oLUMoc[/youtube]

Excited for The Hobbit?  I know I am.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TefclZHcT7k[/youtube]

Check out Gunslinger Stratos, a new Japanese arcade game by Square Enix.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2XEwqH_WQw[/youtube]

Atlus has announced they are bringing over Growlanser IV over to the west as Growlanser: Wayfarer of Time. Here is an early look at the Japanese promotional video for the same game.

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20 Good Video Game Feelings

I have a friend who was once as passionate about gaming as myself.  Ironically we didn’t even know each well when we shared this obsession.  Now the only way we can connect on games is through nostalgic conversations of the bygone generations.  We were having one such insightful back-and-forth the other night when he mentioned certain feelings he derived from games that made the life of a gamer worth it.  In passing, I suggested he write me a list of such feelings which, despite his being absent for the most recent generation, still largely ring true.  I’ve bolded the ones I strongly agree with and added some of my own notes:

  1. Seeing an original Gameboy game in one of their plastic protective cases
  2. Waking up early with no obligations and knowing you’ve saved in a good spot in your RPG
  3. When others watch you battle a tough boss
  4. When you finally leveled up enough to equip an item that you’ve been holding for a while
  5. Eating during load screens (I love eating a snack while navigating menus, nothing beats getting things done while you eat!)
  6. Dramatic boss music
  7. That moment when you know its been long enough to restart a favorite game
  8. Playing a game nonstop during a rainy day (Snow is just as good!)
  9. Finding an “easter egg” on your own
  10. Seeing older video game consoles, controllers, memory cards and games at thrift stores/pawn shops etc.
  11. When you’ve decided who will be your main party for the rest of an RPG
  12. Playing a particular game as a joke and then realizing you’re actually having fun
  13. Finding old save data to one of your overpowered characters that you forgot about
  14. Getting a surprisingly good trade in value at the local vender (Funcoland anyone?)
  15. That moment when you realize a co-worker/classmate loves a game as much as you do
  16. When you’ve been powerful for so long you decide to start a new character/file to feel weakness again
  17. Discovering a gaming console at somebody’s house that you know you’re going to be stuck at
  18. Finding a person whose video game skills match yours to play with
  19. On your way home to try a new game that you’ve acquired
  20. Solving a tricky part on your first try the morning after spending the entire day trying to (This is especially true of Zelda for me)

I sometimes wonder if I too will one day be as apathetic as my friend when it comes to gaming.  It’s somehow reassuring to see that these creature comforts wouldn’t be forgotten.

P.S You may remember this individual from his infamous coneing video

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